Plan The Fling Before The Ring

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Who to Invite to a Bachelorette Party

A bachelorette party is a girls' night out or a destination weekend away, and it's something brides-to-be, and their best friends have probably been thinking about for months. 

As you write up the bachelorette party guest list, it’s natural to ask who should you invite to your bachelorette. Are they members of the bridal party, or other close friends and family members too? And how many guests is considered too many?

Planning bachelorette parties comes with a lot of unknown territory for many maids of honour and bridesmaids who haven't organized this type of event before, as etiquette has to be kept in mind, so no one is offended. You'd think this is a specific area of wedding etiquette - anyone invited to the wedding if they are a close friend or a family member should also have been invited to any of the pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, the bridal shower, the rehearsal dinner, or the bachelorette party - but it isn't always that clear-cut.

Luckily the bachelorette is less formal than the shower, for example, and the bride should only really invite those she really wants to attend. But, the fun festivities of weddings can be extremely controversial!

So, who then to invite to the bachelorette? When do friends stop just being friends and become close life-long friends? Which family members should be invited - perhaps you don't really like your sister-in-law...And think how hurt you'd be if you found out all the girls were invited to the bachelorette party and you weren't?

The Basics of Bachelorette Parties

The bachelorette party is a fun pre-wedding party and is an essential forerunner to the main event. Although it's not a really formal event in itself, it's usually a great way to get all the girls together to celebrate regardless of whether they are bridesmaids, close friends, part of the bridal party or family members.

But just because it's a pre-wedding event doesn't mean there shouldn't be a critical guest list and some serious thought about who is to be included in this bachelorette party. The maid of honour typically heads up the bachelorette party planning committee. Still, the bride should definitely have a say in who's on the list of invites- after all, it's the bride who usually has to see uninvited people in the future.

Who Does the Inviting?

The bride is not usually involved in planning the actual bachelorette party and the activities, but the one thing they do have a say in is the guest list. And while if were just up to you to pick a group of your besties to spend a weekend with, which would generally be an absolute no-brainer, the process becomes a little bit stressful when you combine all the different personalities, the mixing of friend groups, and a whole plethora of different dynamics. 

So, who gets an invite to the 2022 bachelorette party, and who doesn't?

Who's Coming to the Bachelorette Party?

So, this is ultimately the bride’s decision, so talk to her before you get carried away. 

Some brides-to-be will want just their bridal shower party there, whereas others want to extend the invitation to a larger circle of family, friends, and perhaps even members of their partner's home team. Either way, people invited to the bachelorette should also be invited to the wedding, and gender shouldn’t prevent anyone from making a list.

Wedding Planning

Bachelorette parties have an average of 10 attendees, which is actually the same as bachelor parties. Although inviting too many guests can make coordinating difficult, 25% of bachelorette parties do go bigger, inviting 15 or more attendees.

There’s no absolute rule that states that you have to invite only the maid of honor and bridesmaids to your bachelorette party, which makes the invite list very flexible. The bachelorette or bachelor party is for anyone the bride-to-be wants on her special night out. This is an excellent opportunity to extend the bachelorette party invites to people who aren't in the bridal shower party but are still important.

A bachelorette party doesn't have to be all female either - if there are male or non-binary people, the guest of honor counts among her closest friends or family, and they could be invited as well. Typically, co-workers aren't invited to a bachelorette party unless the bride counts her colleagues among her closest friends, then you can extend them an invitation to the bash. 

A golden rule is that anyone invited to the bachelorette party should also be invited to the actual wedding.

How many people are too many?

The number of people you invite depends on the type of celebration you're hosting. If you’re traveling to a specific destination and have to deal with hotel rooms, it's a good idea to keep the numbers down for ease. However, if you’re staying in town for the bachelorette weekend or night out, you can definitely have a more significant number - the more, the better.

No matter what you choose to do for your mate's bachelorette, you'll want to be surrounded by the people the bride's closest to. Bridesmaids are an obvious invite, but who else gets to join in this celebratory event? Perhaps there's a group of close friends or family members who aren't at the wedding party but that you all love to spend time with. But don't feel forced to invite college buddies with who you all share a drink with now and again. On the other hand, if your bride's former roommate, who calls her weekly and has serious conversations with, should probably get an invite.

There may be instances where you should invite someone you don't know very well. Any relatives and close female friends of the groom could also be considered as this bachelorette party should be a time for you all to bond. However, don't overdo the guest list too much either. The number of bachelorette attendees can proliferate, and you'll want to be able to spend quality time with everyone there.

Time for the Team to Celebrate...

Before you send out the invitations, think long and hard about who really ought to be there. Just like your bride's wedding list,coming up with the right mix of groups is tough, but there should be a very clear distinction between genuine friendships and those that are more surface level. 

If you're nervous about someone getting upset if they weren't invited, try and be thick-skinned and plough on. Because at the end of the day, this is a time to be shared with only the most important people who care about the bride, and most people will understand that.

So whether your closest friend group is made up of five women or 15, put together that guest list that illustrates these key relationships - those who are going to be important at the wedding as well. 

Bachelor Parties

For years the boys have been having all the fun with their bachelor parties, and it's time the women caught up, so make sure everyone you want can attend and is then able to celebrate that special time in your friend's life.

The Big Day

Start thinking about what kind of party you want, and discuss it with the bridesmaids or others in the suggested group, so they are clear about what (and who) you are all comfortable with. Ultimately, the guest list is up to you as the main organizer. 

And the type of party you're comfortable with planning will also have a significant impact on who you all decide to invite, so it's important to make sure that you keep in mind what you are comfortable with doing and your intended guests.

If the type of bachelorette party you have in mind might clash with a certain friend's beliefs, it is probably best not to invite them and save them from an awkward trip. In this situation, and obviously depending on your relationship, it's a good idea to explain your reasons to them directly so they don't feel hurt. You may want to talk to them before the wedding, however...

Who to Invite, Then?

If the bride has a great relationship with her mom, or someone older, go ahead and include them. Just remember to make sure everyone on the guest list is likely to be comfortable with what you're planning. If you're organizing an afternoon at a health spa or a vineyard, then an invitation for Mom is probably great, but a wild weekend in LA? You may decide to leave Mom and those particular members of the family at home. There are plenty of other wedding events, like brunches, rehearsal dinners, and showers, to invite loved ones, so no one should feel left out in the end.

There's only one real guest list no-no to avoid.

You shouldn't really invite anyone who has not received an invitation to the wedding. Otherwise, invite away and keep in mind that this is your bachelorette party to organize - so, don't get emotionally blackmailed. Invite only those extra special people you know will bring fun and happiness and contribute to a memorable and stress-free evening or weekend.